BLÅASJÖARDJUPASKOGAR

I’m on day 35 of my cycle, with no period in sight. Perhaps it’s the universe’s cruel joke of telling me to let go of the things I cannot control. Perhaps it’s the universe’s way of saying bleeding with the blue moon is the way to go, so let’s wait. Well, the blue moon is here people! Tonight. I doubt we will be able to catch a glimpse of it though as Vancouver is covered by a blanket of grey/white skies. Although, what’s this peeping through the (still) green leaves outside my windows? Blue skies?! Again, these are things I can’t control. The weather and my body’s bleeding schedule.

Yesterday it was pouring rain. Thunder too. Watching the trees hang heavy with raindrops smashing down on them felt so healing. We’ve had a record summer without any rain. The grass is wilted and yellow. I opened the windows and door and invited in the PNW rain in. You are welcome here! I had to close them soon afterwards though, as the rain made my sudden allergies so much worse (apparently rain essentially makes the pollen particles “explode” in the air, like tiny bombs). The rest of the day was spent in an allergy daze, cleaning up my hobbit apartment and finishing All’s Well by Mona Awad (more on that one later) on audio. Of course, some Gilmore Girls episodes were also inhaled. Obviously did some work. The usual.

Today I’m determined to have a Good Enough Day. Doesn’t have to be extraordinary, but it needs to be good enough. I’ve showered and put on makeup. Cleaned up the place. I got We Belong Together stuck on my mind, sung by Ritchie Valens. Which made me research Ritchie Valens. Which made me think they really should make a film about his life! Which apparently already exists, it’s called La Bamba (1987).

As We Belong Together finished playing on YouTube, it decided to auto-play me a video called “songs to slow dance to when the world ends“, a compilation video of old romantic songs played over a rain-ambience track. How on-point, it was exactly what I needed today. This morning when I kissed Andrew goodbye (gross, I know), I told him he should work from home. How we should both work from home, always. Let’s get a farm. And I hope one day we will. One day it won’t just be a dream. One day we’ll have a little house, with a garage/studio for Andrew, and a writing cabin for me. Lots of dogs. Some ducks. Goats maybe. Hens, for sure. Until then I’m stuck in my hobbit hole, listening to a YouTube compilation video, talking to my colleagues on Google Chats about garlic mayo and menopause. It’s not all bad, but it could be better.