it's been a month or so since i last wrote a blog post. rereading my posts i realize not much has changed, except it's warmer now. my hair has grown. i've been trying to eat more veggies while also trying to not feel guilty about food in general (dismantling the notion that there's "bad food" for example).
june has almost come and gone. i didn't really write anything. i didn't take many pictures. didn't update any of my social media (that much). i had a couple of really bad days. like really bad. i also had some good days. i took care of myself, every now and then. last weekend i booked a cabin for me and andrew and we had a mini-vacay in wicklow next to a river that we swam in and it was amazing. the weekend before that we went to the beach and andrew's dog chloe got beach sick due to all the salt water. but watching her enjoying herself like a teenage pup filled my heart up. the weekend before that we went to kildare village and had an amazing cobb salad and everything there reminded me of two things: 1) america 2) how clothes are not made for me and my body shape. in june we also bought a badminton set, and played badminton outside by the clothesline.
i wake up every morning with dreams of work. let's just say they're not nice dreams. after that i go to work. and then i come home from work, too tired to really do anything else than watch tv and sleep. i'm positive, convinced, that there is more to life than this. we applied for something really big which i can't yet talk about. i hope we get it.
june's not over yet. summer is definitely not over yet. there is still so much time. i'm gonna try to cherish it, gonna try to enjoy it and do it wholeheartedly. even though it's really difficult sometimes. this weekend i was feeling extremely homesick due to midsummer. i also know however that if i was home i wouldn't have thought it was that big of a deal. sometimes our brain feeds us with negative thought patterns automatically. we have to remind it to think otherwise. andrew has been amazing, as always. catering for me. trying to make me feel more at home. up for doing whatever it is i want to do. i'm so incredibly blessed to have him in my life. help, this is turning into some sort of letter to an old friend who i rarely talk to anymore. i better stop while i'm at it.